Eternal sunshine of searching mind!!!

"I see in the distance before me,
A picture worthy to behold,
Painted in colors of such beauty,
In colors yet untold"

yeah,i know,but i am quite reflective these days.
It's just one of those stages in life. Just before I fall asleep, I begin shaking my leg, rocking myself to sleep in a sense. I am not alone in this. Some people say their reasons are to rock themselves to sleep, others want to tire themselves out. Me? I just want to prove to myself I'm still awake enough. Next thing I know I am opening my eyes to the sound of my alarm going off.

I wanna shout out loud and go to far off places - as i feel the time has come to change some of the things, and some of the way i do some things or maybe i wanna do the same things, but differently - both personally and professionally. sometimes i just go and sit at St. Paul's Cathedral, god its so peaceful there.

What I remember about my childhood, what speaks to me now when I think of what it means to be a child, is the time that I spent in quiet reflection or discovery. Running through a field, playing cricket, sitting at the top of my house I just climbed, discovering snakes and frogs or even playing with fire. i had no fear at all. i want the spirit back.

From the very beginning we are cautioned about looking back. "Don’t look down; Don’t look back! Keep your eyes on the top." Paradoxically, climbing the multi-stories of life is also a lot about looking back, and i do wanna look back at a lot of things I've missed/lost/could have done better along the way or even admire a lot of things: When we have struggled our way to the top we turn to admire the view. Down through time, peering down our chosen paths.My housemate and a very close friend always tells me - to go fast you need to slow down. i exactly know what he means..

I’m making a choice here, because everything is a choice, we are where we are today because of the choices we made, and I want to continue growing, physically, mentally and spiritually.

i am working on it..